Trend Setting

When my time comes on this earth, people will say of me, “He was here!” Oh yes!

And this will most likely be due to my contributions, (and assistance in contributions,) to the lexicon of society. F’rinstance:

Many people did not know that I am responsible for the “Finger quotes” hand gesture. Well, not me, personally, but I came up with the “Parenthesis Hands” gesture, which didn’t quite catch on, but someone must have seen me doing this and chose a different point of punctuation to act out.

Same thing with the milk mustache, (although my idea was actually the ‘watermelon sideburns’,) with similar results.

I was, however, the very first person to pluralize the word “Hell” when vehemently agreeing with myself, (as in “HELLS, YEAH!”) It was during a late night pub crawl, and I was intoxicatedly slurring due to a generous-handed barmaid, but the point still stands. (And if you are wondering if I will use “parenthesis hands” when I read this to anyone, the answer is “Hells yeah, I will!)

But, recently, I considered bringing back a fashion element. I wanted to reintroduce an element of class to a generation starved of it, stylistically-speaking. I chose the monocle. That's right, the monocle.

Now, there are many reasons for and against this iconic eyepiece, and all of these are in the form of past users, (so therefore images are available,) and graphically listing them just makes good sense...

So, in the end, the monocle’s connection to The Third Reich is just too close for a guy with a bald head like mine to risk. I may have to look for something else to be the next new trend.

Maybe carrying a riding crop. That's innocent enough.