Sunday, November 8, 2009

What to teach...

As a schoolteacher, I am continuously amazed that there are what I always considered fundamentally important things that so many people have never learned.

From an early age, schools, (preschools, kindergartens, primary schools,) should be teaching REAL life lessons that will make each student more welcomed in society later in their lives.

Here are a few examples:

- Courtesy flush! Seriously. This is not that difficult.

- Basic road rules: Turning left? Get on the frigging left!

- Deodorant and mouthwash aren't signs of conformity, you damned hippy!

- More basic road rules: Slower traffic stay right.

- Beer before liquor, et cetera.

- Yankees DO, in fact, suck!

- Disco STILL sucks

- In selecting a movie, beware anything that has Pauly Shore remotely associated with it. (File under “things that suck.”)

- 72.5% of all statistics are bullshit.

- Keep your eye on the fat kid. Trust me. Funny shit will ensue.

- Winning is important, but its the SECOND mouse gets the cheese.

Lets make tomorrow better. Kids need to learn this shit.


  1. Love the site, and I'm glad to see another teacher making fun of things on teh webs. I'm giving you a linkup sir, keep up the good work

  2. Wow, these are the things I think about every day, especially if I interact with the public in any sort of way.

    72.5% of all statiscs are, that's funny.

  3. Since everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten, I'm off the hook since I only teach Pre-K. (But I'll give them a head's up about what's ahead for them!)

  4. Thank you, all!

    I did forget to mention the whole 'chewing-with-your-mouth-open' thing.

    Y'see I used to work with a woman who would chew gum, and the sound of it made me honestly expect her to spit out six dice and shout "Yahtzee!"


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