First of all, I am not gonna speculate on the reason for only a single 'Trick or Treater' visiting last night, I am sure they had their reasons, and I am sure it was nothing personal.
But the fact of the matter is, I now have one and a half metric shitloads of Halloween candy lying around, and if I don't want to force my dentist into buying a "Widebody Deluxe" dentistry chair, I need to find some other use for them aside from calling them full meals.
So, I comprised a list of 'Left Over Hallowe'en Candy Ideas'. (Feel free to use any if you, too, were snubbed by these little costumed beggars!)
- Alternative Gratuities: "Ahh, the service was excellent. And here are some Goobers for you, my good man!"
- 'Will-Work-For-Food' Wages: Let's see just how truthful those signs are. Clean out my gutters, cut and rake the lawn, and take out the trash. The pay is 8 Kit Kats and 12 Twizzlers per hour!
- Christmas Stocking Stuffers: Oh, sure. Like none of you have thought of this!
- Put it with the Crucifix and the Kryptonite: Now you can ward off Vampires, Superman AND Diabetics!
- 'Lawn Fishing' Squirrel Bait: Okay, this one is directed more towards those readers in the south...
- "Snickers Stuffing": Thanksgiving is right around the corner, y'know!
And, of course,
- Creative, (and Tasty!) Cocktail Garnishes: Reese's Cups go awesome with Amaretto, I, uh, happen to know.