Sunday, November 1, 2009

Left Over Hallowe'en Candy Ideas

First of all, I am not gonna speculate on the reason for only a single 'Trick or Treater' visiting last night, I am sure they had their reasons, and I am sure it was nothing personal.

I'm sure.

But the fact of the matter is, I now have one and a half metric shitloads of Halloween candy lying around, and if I don't want to force my dentist into buying a "Widebody Deluxe" dentistry chair, I need to find some other use for them aside from calling them full meals.

So, I comprised a list of 'Left Over Hallowe'en Candy Ideas'. (Feel free to use any if you, too, were snubbed by these little costumed beggars!)

- Alternative Gratuities: "Ahh, the service was excellent. And here are some Goobers for you, my good man!"

- 'Will-Work-For-Food' Wages: Let's see just how truthful those signs are. Clean out my gutters, cut and rake the lawn, and take out the trash. The pay is 8 Kit Kats and 12 Twizzlers per hour!

- Christmas Stocking Stuffers: Oh, sure. Like none of you have thought of this!

- Put it with the Crucifix and the Kryptonite: Now you can ward off Vampires, Superman AND Diabetics!

- 'Lawn Fishing' Squirrel Bait: Okay, this one is directed more towards those readers in the south...

- "Snickers Stuffing": Thanksgiving is right around the corner, y'know!

And, of course,
- Creative, (and Tasty!) Cocktail Garnishes: Reese's Cups go awesome with Amaretto, I, uh, happen to know.

Cheers, Chris


  1. I like the creative uses for leftover candy! Sadly, I was hoping for a few leftover Mounds bars this year - but we were unfortunately visited by too many little beggers yesterday who wiped us out.

    Oh, and FYI - Peppermint Patties and Peppermint Schnapps not so good together suprisingly.

  2. Get out of here! Peppermint Patties and Peppermint Schnapps don't go together well? I AM surprised.

    Thanks for the warning!

  3. I'm sure Martha Stewart would find a way to make a creative centerpiece, cute lampshade, or homey wreath with them. I hate Martha Stewart. I bought extra candy to make sure I got some. Haven't seen a trick-or-treater around here in ten years, but you never know. . .

  4. Yeah, Martha Stewart can make some awful-looking crap from anything. My list, however, can be used in practical ways! (Like an "Allowance Substitute" for the kiddies!)

    But, Amy, extra Candy and NO Trick or Treaters? You can snack on 'em, garnish a Manhattan, and make a decorative wreath! (But avoid the chocolate lampshade; too melty!)

  5. I had three, count 'em 3, little beggars, but I didn't buy any candy so I just didn't answer the doorbell. I used to go all out for Halloween I'd get all dressed up and I'd decorate the house and yard, but a couple of years back I got a complaint from a child about my decorations, he didn't like the idea that the bodies I had scattered around the front yard weren't real. Jeebus, kids want real dead bodies for decor, kinda may my insides quiver. What's the world coming to?


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