Saturday, January 22, 2011

Even MORE Photoshop: Featuring ME!!

With little to no gumption, (that's right! I said the word "gumption,") to write anything new, with no new entries into The Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary, no new collection of "Random Thoughts" ready to go, and no new "Decisions, Decisions" to make, I decided to get my lazy on and give a second, (maybe third,) shot at visibility to a few old PhotoShop pieces once again.

Originally appearing in the blog posting, "Island of the Damned" I decided to share the news of my love affair with Miss Ginger Grant to the world with this one.
Keep yer Mary Ann! I like 'em a just little whorier...

Always On My Mind... And, uh, Arm
Used as a pop-up illustration for a cocktail, (named The Ginger Grant,) in my OTHER blog, Greatest Drink in The World... This Week.
Hey, nice guns!

Don't call me Honky!
Me when I was the original Tom Willis from television's The Jeffersons.
Possible candidate for the next installment of my "Artificial Memories" collection.

The Nutty Irishman
Another pop-up illustration from my drinks blog. This one an illustration from the Home-Made Liqueurs series.

Lucky, Me Arse!

My response to an only-somewhat-justified stereotyping comment from last March's
Luck of the Irish.
Again, probably made when hungry.

That's it for now. I've got some time that needs killin'...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Identity Crisis

What the hell is this?

Now I am an "Ophiuchus?" Yeah, THAT really rolls off the tongue.

So apparently, there is a brand new Zodiac sign. And unlike those folks that got shifted to a neighboring sign, (and, I guess, a whole new horoscope!) I get saddled with this new one.

True, I am not sure if the whole Sagittarius thing was working for me, anyways. The horoscopes were turning out to be straight-up bulljack as far as I was concerned, and had me condemning the whole theory of "star-signs" as utter malarkey.

Now, I am not so sure.

Moreover, I don't know if I WILL be sure until I know the attributes of this new Ophiuchy-thingy.

Are my fellow "Serpent-bearers" and I supposedly skeptical? If so, maybe I am right in condemning this stuff. But if we are supposed to be more open-minded, (or gullible,) well, perhaps I will have to reconsider this zodiac stuff!

But what about all those years of being LIED to about being a Sagittarius? Is "indignant" among my new attributes as a "Serpentarius?" Maybe I have the tendency to become violent at the clusterfuck of misinformation that was fed to me for so long! Perhaps we Ophiuchans are tireless in our pursuit of justice and litigious in said pursuit!
Oh heads will roll.

Just wait 'til I find out how I am gonna react. Some potentially serious shit might possibly hit a fan.

Just like that time when I lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about this.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Crosby's Journal

Crosby’s Journal: January 13, 2011

It would appear that table scraps, AKA “people food,” might be a bit more difficult to acquire with my new family.

The woman seems to be weakening,

succumbing to the power of

“the eyes,” but the big, bald one, the man, he seems to be immune to it.

Today he actually ate a meat sandwich in

front of me. A soulful, longing glance and a forced tummy rumbling only got me a sincere word about my safety should I attempt to take some. I believe this to be true.

At one point, he dropped a piece of what I can only assume was salami or some type of pimento loaf.

I was certain that once it hit the floor, it was “dog’s domain.”

However, it never hit the floor. Like a giant, bald mongoose, the man grabbed the errant meat in mid-air and returned it to his sandwich.

I should have guessed from looking at him that this man never let any piece of his meal escape him.

The woman is my only chance.


Sunday, January 2, 2011

Crosby's Journal

Crosby's Journal: January 2, 2010

In an effort for better understanding, the man has endeavored to teach me some of his language.
So far, I am able to understand the words "sit," "come," "paw," and "down" in their native tongue.

In exchange, I am teaching my new humans some key words in MY language. As of this writing, I am consistently able to express the phrases "I need to go peeps," and "I need to go doosies," (very similar to the untrained eye/ear, but they appear to grasp the hidden nuances.)

I am confident that we will have meaningful conversations within the month.

This said, the phrase, "Can I have a bite of that sandwich?" seems to be a difficult one for the Man to grasp.
My lessons continue.

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