Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan, The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star, The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle."
Now, the lyrics after running it through multiple translations:
"It is he whose back is parted, just presented sitting; you have asked a story,
The story of death driving.
We started with this more tropical port;
It is a small boat.
As a partner, that man was a great maritime safety,
A courageous man, with a flag, really.
The five other passengers on sail day
Travel costs for a period of 3, 3 times to travel.
The climate began unclear
The boat was thrown out small,
When he did not have the courage, it has the group courage,
He lost small fish; smaller fish, has lost.
The island of solid boat-land beach, mapped this desert
Gilligan, the person, through which flies in such a way excessively,
the large magnate and that, his wife.
Star transmission, and leopard and the United Nations,
I am here, Gilligans."
Friday, August 21, 2009
Many years ago, back when my Goddaughter, Shawna, was still a young child, I used to send her postcards from wherever I was visiting.
During one trip out west, I saw this postcard of “The Jackalope:"
I knew this was more interesting than my trip, so I decided that I would send her postcards like this, educational, informative, entertaining and existing almost entirely in a fictitious world from my very own melon.
From that same trip...
Montezuma's Castle, Camp Verde, AZ:
I considered myself, "Traveling Uncle Toler" and sent a card whenever I was away, and I carried this tradition on with my nephew as time went by. It might mess up their grades in school if they were to ever use these as a reference, but I think it is often more interesting than the real world, and it is important to show kids alternative perspectives...
I no longer have these postcards, they were mailed to her years ago, (and she probably still has them!!!) but I decided I could reproduce them accurately enough now and post them here, just for S&G!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
So, the missus and I went to one of those “gourmet” hot dog places recently. Now, I gotta say, I have nothing but respect for the Hot Dog; It’s all-American, a perfect size to squelch a hunger without making you feel full, and it has a lot of room for individualization through toppings. And one simply can’t go to a Sox game without Ballpark Frank! It’s a good, good thing.
But, it is, after all, just a hot dog. These hot dog places, which appear to be riding on a nostalgic wave of novelty as much as, (or more than,) any really product demand niche, charge prices one would expect of “gourmet” but not of “hot dog.”
I paid $3.50 for a dog on a roll with mustard, onion and peppers. (Coincidentally, this was also the cost of two packages of eight Oscar Mayer “Bun-Length” turkey dogs at Stop & Shop!) It was a good dog, but nothing otherworldly, (and not worth three and a half bucks.)
(Cue the "reminiscing-old-fogey" mode:)
I remember a time when a person could get “Two Hot Dogs for a Dollar” at The Pump-N-Pantry, (a local gas station/convenient store.) And not crappy, week-old, formerly-foods, either. Decent franks, freshly made.
In fact, partaking in this twin wonders bargain was part of my standard M.O. when taking a woman out for a second date.
Yes, I said, second.
You see, for a first date, I would always pull out the stops and go someplace big and fancy, and go for all the bells and whistles; Drinks, appetizers, entrées, deserts, entertainment, the works. And happily drop a wad o’ cash in the process.
"Hmmm... Very impressive, Mr. Big Spender!"
HOWEVER, for the second date, we were looking at the Pump-n-Pantry and a coupla’ franks. Oh, and share a fountain soda. This served three very important functions; 1) It very clearly passed the message, "Sometimes things are good, sometimes, not so much," 2) it saved me some cash after the first date's expensive meal, and 3) it frequently saved me from having to spend any time or money on any “third” dates. But if, on that rare chance there was a third date after the Pantry’s “two-fer” deal, that was a special woman! (I say this, but to this day, my wife vehemently denies going here with me.)
In any case, I fear that these trendy new Dog stands aren’t going to last too much longer. With the economy and the very nature of hot dogs as anti-gourmet, Franks may soon go back to being relegated to the sales from carts or trucks with a more or the staple of the backyard barbecue, where they belong.
Incidentally, it took a great deal of effort to not use terms like "mustered," "catch up," "relish," et cetera, while writing this. I just wanted that acknowledged.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
The question comes up throughout the day more frequently than one is usually comfortably with. Turning to pop music for the answers, one comes up with the following likelihood chart.
If, in fact, being rocked is in your immediate future, this pie chart shows you the chances of what that “rocking” might be like.
♪ Like A Hurricane, 44%
♪ All Night, (And Party Every Day), 27%
♪ Around The Clock, 12%
♪ Amadeus, 5%
♪ Like A Wagon Wheel, 4%
♪ Tonight, 3%
♪ Eternally, 2%
♪ To The Ground, 1%
♪ Gently, and/or Slowly, 0.4%
Good luck and be careful! Rock responsibly!