Showing posts with label inventions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inventions. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2009

Pie Day, Redux!


In Europe, they would write July 22nd as 22/7, and, (since I hadn’t thought if this back on March 14th,)  I thought I would use this date as an opportunity to discuss Pi, or rather Pie. 

Or more accurately, Pies.


Everyone loves pie. Oh, they will say they don’t and make an effort to not eat pie all that often, but when we drop the societal obligations and our pre-occupation with eating hyper-healthy and eschewing fatty, sugary, carb-y, foods that just simply rock, we must honestly admit that we all love pie.


Its okay! They are worthy of our love! 


Apple Pie, Lemon Meringue,  Blueberry, Pizza! I mean, C’mon, Pizza-damned-pie! Some folks dig that Mince-Meat thingy, others crave the pumpkin. I’ve always been a sucker for the Key Lime Pie myself!


But if the simple act of putting things into pies, (or “Pie-ing,” if I may coin a phrase,) makes everything so much better, how come more things aren’t pied?


I may begin a new hobby. Pieing. Not baking, far more specific. I will include all of my favorite food items and create a line of pies so delicious that I will swell to the size of a dump truck just on taste-testing. 


(Artist's rendering of me from the future... If I wore a top hat and cape, that is.)


My entrĂ©es line, (to make you forget that a “Chicken Pot Pie” ever sat in your mom’s oven!), may include my special Lamb Vindaloo Pie, a specialty that teems with flavors and spices of India, and perhaps a spicy Taco Pie that would make your Shepherd’s Pie look rather bland by comparison.


Beer Pie! Oh, yes! I said it! There will be a golden amber Beer Pie, a dark, (probably Guinness-based,) Porter Pie, maybe even a nice blueberry beer pie. This is a market waiting to pop! (Waiting, that is, until the ‘eating-healthy’ obsession in this country is finally succeeded by simply eating in moderation! Whoops! Soapbox alert! I’ll step down...)


To continue. The booze beverage-based baked goods, (THAT’S fun to say!) need not stop at beer! Let’s consider some exotics like Margarita Pie. Or a nice Kahlua Sombrero Pudding Pie! Talk about your 'fun-to-say,' hows-about a delicious Mai Tai Pai! Explosive little bundles of flavor to compliment your meal, and provide a decent little buzz, too. (This Mai Tai Pai idea has been haunting me since I first thought it up! I imagine it with chunks of pineapple and maraschino cherries suspended in a rum and amaretto-laced pineapple filling, maybe a hint of coconut in the topping... MMMmmmm!)


Not exactly like this...



Pieing. That's it! Pieing! This could well be the destiny of dessert pastries. Making this is yet another gratuitous peek into the future.



Oh, By the way, I have already begun this endeavor and my Bailey’s Irish Cream Pudding Pie is an absolute smash at parties. Feel free to write me for the recipe!





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Thursday, July 16, 2009

SDH Spectacles

Yet another life-improving invention idea, from straight outta my head, of all places...


SDH Glasses...


While watching a movie one day, (as I am wont to frequently do,) I couldn't help considering the subtitles, (AKA Closed Caption, and the newer acronym, "SDH," Subtitled for the Deaf and Hard-of Hearing) and how they could be applied to everyday life.

It occurred to me that subtitles could be used to improve real life, not just the often-superior movies, for those who could benefit from them. Technologies currently exist that could be incorporated together to make functional, non-obtrusive, captioning devices for the Hearing Impaired. 

A pair of eyeglasses could be fit with a small directional microphone. Very focused to cut down on interference, and small enough to be concealed. Technologically speaking, this is really no big deal. An old idea that has been really perfected. (Directional Microphone.) 

This, however, could lead directly to a "speech-to-text" processor; a simple, currently available piece of technology, (my sister owned something like this in college for her computer so simply dictate her papers. Kinda neat.) (Speech to Text.)

Lastly, the text generated by this could be presented on a heads-up display directly on the lenses of the glasses. Heads-up display technology is common these days, but apparently HUD-on-eyeglasses has already developed as well for the use of pilots, firefighters, rich computer nerds, etc. (HUD Glasses.)

Put them all together, and the result, a hearing-impaired individual need only be looking at the speaker, (common courtesy, anyways,) or source of sound, (movie theatre screen, play, radio, etc.,) to have his or her eyeglasses convert it to a subtitle readable on the inside of the glasses. Pretty snazzy, eh?


The result: Deaf and hearing-impaired people could experience life with the same degree of quality as when they experience movies at home. 

And let's face it, movies at home is really pretty damned good.


 

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