Thursday, May 21, 2009

Hawaiian Euphemisms

I love Hawaii. Everyone is so laid back and mellow.

Sometimes, though, they are TOO laid back. There are things in life that just aren’t that great, and some things that are downright unpleasant. Yet Hawaii has some euphemisms that, well, distract a person from the items' true nature. 

And may Shakespeare’s “a rose by any other name,” be damned.

See what I mean:

Fireside poet, Mr. Longfellow, once said “Into each life a little rain must fall...” But ol’ Hank W. must never have made it out to the land of Aloha, because even though Hawaii’s island of Kauai boasts one of the rainiest spot on earth, they prefer to call it by a different name...

Yeah. Just a little “Liquid Sunshine.” 


I have heard them called Porta Potties, Outhouses, and Jiffy Johns, and once, a long time ago, I saw one referred to as an “Ecology Can,” but only in Hawaii have I heard the term, “Comfort Station.” Doesn’t that sound like a great place? A place you actually WANT to go to.

 No, not the blue, plastic, outdoor shitter, “The Comfort Station.”


On each visit to Hawaii, I have sought out and booked an air tour of the island, twice by helicopter, once by a small airplane. Each was equipped with the standard air sickness bags in the event of stomach content evacuation. Not an easy thing to put a positive spin on, eh?

Behold the “Aloha Bag.”

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