Saturday, May 2, 2009

Wedding Crashers

So not too long ago, I was invited to a wedding. There was the standard fare; Church service, nice reception, decent meal, DJ, big-honkin’-cake. Y’know, typical wedding stuff.  But it got me thinking to past weddings. The things I remember most vividly from the weddings that I attended, (as guest, participant, or gatecrasher,) have almost always been the things that went dramatically wrong. I think that a lot of folks do this, (and it doesn’t make us bad people!)

So, the notion crossed my mind that if that is what people remember, then to make a truly memorable wedding shouldn’t be too hard; just give the people what they want! Hence, the following...

My business proposal: 

Wedding Crashers. The ultimate in entertainment. 

This new business will provide the wedding planners with random, memorable  occurrences throughout either the ceremony or the reception. Occurrences would be enacted by professional “actors” in the roles of guests, attendees, staff, et cetera and is fully customizable to the level of shock value desired. Some examples of “services” offered:

_ Drunk guy gives an impromptu speech, 

Options:   -Correct or incorrect bride and groom names

         -Happy drunk, belligerent drunk, verbally abusive drunk

         -Finishes speech and steps down/escorted off/passes out.

_ Cat Fight! Two female party guests get into a brawl

Options: -Torn dresses

       -Adult language

       -Reconciliation or escorted out

_ Pastry Problems: A “Dummy” wedding cake ...

Options: -Someone falls into it.

       -Stripper pops out

       -Drunk guy cuts himself a big slice

       -Cat fight uses a fist full in the brawl

       -Waiter drops it onto another “guest”

_ Ex- makes an appearance!

Options: -His vs. hers, spouse/lover/same-sex companion

       -Illegitimate child issue

       -Breech-of-contract dispute

_ EMTs: Injury to a “guest”

Options: -Food poisoning

      -Clumsy waiter caused

_ Police involvement: Best Man/Maid of Honor arrested during reception

Options: The crime- Polygamy, embezzlement, etc.

      - Peaceful or resistant? Tasered?

_ And many other services could be included and realistic requests are always considered.

Of course, a wedding reception like this is not for everybody. That said, I and many people I know would have done something like this in a heartbeat! 

And people would be talking about it for years to come.

Friggin’ genius.


  1. I could add some:
    Mother of the Groom shows up in a wedding dress.
    Father of the Bride dissappears for Bride/FOB dance.
    Photographer shows up at wrong church.
    Ex shows up and sulks on church steps
    Non-family member guy rents a tux and pretends to be part of the wedding party

    Fortunately, these services and many more were provided for me for free....

  2. Lemme know if you are ever looking for any consultation work!


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