One Day in County Cork...

A couple of years ago, the Mrs. and I were visiting my family in Ireland. My family comes from a very rural neck of the country out among the peninsulas in the southwest of County Cork, with lots of rolling hills, green pastures and wide open spaces.

Well, one day, we were on a long drive deep in the countryside, when I spied him out of the corner of my eye: a real-life leprechaun. Folk-tales and myths no longer, I witnessed one of the Emerald Isle's elusive "Little People" with my very own peepers!

Now everyone knows the stories of Leprechauns and pots of gold, and I was no different. I, too, had grown up with these tales, so I decided to set about catching him for his gold.

I sprinted from the car after the diminutive character with the charge of a human-formed rhinoceros, with little to no stealth among my, let's face it, generous frame. The clever folkloric icon must've realized what I was after from the steely glint of determination in my eyes, and decided to bolt. As I watched him begin his evasive maneuvers, I was sure these techniques must have been the same ones that eluded many the greedy, gold-focused mortals of centuries past. Surprisingly, I was able to overtake him fairly early in the chase, my height and leg length obviously compensating for my lack of familiarity with actual running. My stride proved too great a challenge for his stubby, little leprechaun legs.

After capturing the elfin quasi-human, I got straight to my demands; No chatter or how-do-you-dos. That was probably the undoing of a less single-minded fortune hunter or two in the past. He was very reluctant to surrender his gold to me after I caught him, but after a few well-placed belts in his little Gaelic breadbasket, he wised up and got the message. He paid up toot-sweet then, I can tell you, but his "gold" only amounted to about 24 Euro. A bit disappointing, true, but better than nothing, right? And I had earned it. How many people can say that they actually encountered an allegedly mythical entity and bested it at its own game? My victory was pretty complete.


My wife, Cheryl, tells me that I had actually mugged a midget with red hair that day, but what does she know? She's not even Irish…