Saturday, January 9, 2010

References for Assholes P.S.A.

Statistically speaking, one out of every twelve Americans is an asshole. And this number, tragically, is increasing all the time. You may know or even work with one of these individuals. If this is the case, you may be at risk of being asked to write a reference for one.

It is here that the dilemma becomes apparent. You can’t say something nice, but you really want this asshole to go away. What do you do?

My wife recently was asked to write a professional reference for a coworker. She was on the horns of the above dilemma. Together, we wrote a nice, and honest, (-ish,) reference for this asshole.

“References for Assholes” P.S.A.

If you are stuck trying to find something nice to say about your asshole co-worker, how are you going to sell them off? If you have things that are not-so-nice to say, that is a far easier place to start.

Go on now and provide references for assholes with confidence. And if YOU also happen to be an asshole, this stuff works well on resum├ęs, too, I, uh, just happen to know...


  1. Funny post! Sounds like your wife has written some references and press releases for politicians before - got the "spin" thing down!

    Learned something today too - really surprised the current asshole quotient is only 12:1 - I seem to run into a slightly higher ratio.

  2. Bonehead: It is possible that you experienced an "asshole cluster!" These are large groups of assholes that group together like the last four or five Cheerios in the bowl of milk.

    Reports of these clusters make me optimistic that somewhere out there an asshole-free place might actually exist.

    Dream big, eh?

  3. Very funny and creative! The world is full of them but each one of us has one!


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