A coupla' more eye-stinging squirts from the freshly-squeezed lemon of my mind, again, in lieu of a proper posting.
Feel free to comment, "What a lazy bastard!"
1. If I were on a primitive island with a tribe of people and a 50 foot tall killer gorilla, and someone suggested building a huge wall to keep him out, I probably would have said, “Yeah, but let’s make sure the door in that wall is much too small for him to fit through.” They could’ve use a guy like me on Skull island.
2. The formula for ice cubes: H20³.
3. I think Noah was a pretty brave guy to bring those two termites on board...
4. I had a friend who never came out and said he was gay, but he did talk about wearing shoe mirrors at the Scottish Highland Games.
5. I'll bet vampire parents tell their children, "Don't run with pencils!"
6. Hallowe’en costumes you don’t see very often: Sexy pigs. Or Santa.
7. I think a world without war, or weapons, or armies would be really great. Because we could invade it and they wouldn’t know what to do!
8. Fish are lucky. They can be incontinent all the time and no one ever knows...
9. How far down do you own your land?
10. No matter how many times you say it, saying “GOOD MOURNING!” isn’t considered funny at a funeral. Or so I have been told.
Former teacher, former construction worker, former mental health counselor, former software engineer, former cab driver, art school graduate, part-time cook, amateur musician and aspiring writer.
Continuously walking the line between being a heckuva nice guy and that thing you wanna chase out of town with torches and pitchforks.