Crosby's Journal

Crosby's Journal: Christmas Day, 2010

Big day!

For Christmas I got a new home and new people.

They came with a new yard, neighborhood and even a pick-up truck!

But the best is the food. It really makes my bum taste great!

C

Crosby's Journal: December 27, 2010

BLIZZARD!!!

This "snow" stuff can be a lot of fun, but for future reference: When going for peeps, find shallower snow, or grow longer legs.

Wow! My pee-pee is cold!

C

Merry Elfin' Christmas, 2010

from Chris & Cheryl

An Illustrated Christmas Wish List

Black Friday: The busiest shopping day of the year!

Christmas is fast approaching, and, considerate me, I am helping out folks by publishing my own Christmas "Wish List!"

Y'know, many times I've been told that people find me difficult to shop for. Bah! Fools!

BUT last year when people asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said only two things: 1) for someone else to finish my Christmas shopping for me, or 2) a cap and vest combination like those worn by the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

Cool threads, Niko!

Incidentally, I got neither.

So, this year, I am offering up a number of options: The following is a list of items SO DAMNED COOL that they would make awesome gifts.

Yes. Another "Attic P.S.A."

1. The Shining Cuckoo Clock!

This was the impetus for this posting! On the hour, Jack tears through the wall and shouts "Here's Johnny!" and Shelley Duvall screams!

Oh Em Gee! I SO f'in' want this!

2. A Ton-Ton Sleeping Bag

The inside even looks like guts!

NERD ALERT, NERD ALERT!!! (A familiarity with "The Empire Strikes Back" is needed to understand this.)

3. The COOLEST Lunchbox in the Whole Wide World!!!

The thermos cap even has a head on it! Seriously!

4. A Corkscrew You Don't F* With

Think twice before bitching about the vintage.

5. The Absolute King of Condiments!

What would I put this on? What WOULDN'T I put this on!

And in that convenient squeeze bottle to get to my arteries all the quicker!

"Squeez Bacon: Its what for dinner!"

Any one of these items would make my holiday season all the damned Merrier!

Thank you in advance,

Chris

Hidden Images

Those graphic designers are sneaky bastards! (Oh, I said it!)

Often, they will sneak in a hidden image into an otherwise innocent logo for a private joke.

This brief collection will illustrate just what I mean...

Yeah, this first one is really sneaky! Try to see it as one person instead of two!

Ah HAH!

With the name, "A-Style," I am not sure that this one isn't intentional!

Okay, this is just silly! How did they NOT see that?!?

Ouch. Very, VERY unfortunate logo here.

This one is just great. I just look at it and laugh!

A more immature mind would have seen the flaw in this design.

Another incredibly unfortunate design, especially given that it is a priest, (but in fairness, this design came out decades before that whole "clergy scandal"-thing.)

And my all time favorite...

Awesome!

By the way, if you have a difficult time seeing the hidden design in the above logo, or in any of the logos shown here, then congratulations! You are a better person than me...

(...Not like that is a high bar or anything.)

Advertising... with children!

In the advertising world, apparently, kids sell.

However, there are some products just aren't naturally suited to advertisements featuring kids.

One would think this fact was pretty blatant.

However...

Here are some past advertisements exploiting kids that really push this point home:

Last-minute Hallowe'en advice...

More Photoshop: Featuring ME!!

Still a lazy bastard at heart, I slapped together another post that required almost no additional work on my part !

But, since I DID once put some work into making these PhotoShop pix, I figger I will get the most out of 'em!

Hey, look at me! I'm recycling! (How "green!")

Experts

Here's me drinking with the Banana Splits. This is a "panel of experts" pop-up from my drinks recipes blog, "The Greatest Drink in the World... This Week."

Drooper is so shitfaced in that picture.

Eomancer

This is the picture from my "Eomancy" post from March of 2009. It was to help illustrate my particular psychic gift...

I made this a while back out of boredom. I never used it for anything and thusly it has no title.

I think I was hungry at the time...

ChiaChris: One of the shopped photos from my "Twelve Things for Christmas" post/song from last December.

With Christmas fast approaching, I should remind folks that I still feel this way!

Bosom Buddy

Um, yeah...

This needs some explaining... A friend started dating a woman with a HUGE rack. So, being the bastard that I am, I sent the above picture, hoping to rob some of his enjoyment by have this image pop into his head at just the right moment...

Eat Me!

Again, probably hungry while PhotoShopping!

This pic is sort of like a back-up avatar of mine, right after that goofy-looking angel!

Chris Dog

There is something just a little obscene about this one.

You have a difficult time looking at it, don't you? Be honest!

Dentist, My Ass

Obviously from last December. From my "Letters to Santa" series.

but the sentiment is true...

It ain't over. More PhotoShoppery is due, sooner or later.

Cheers.

Da bomb!

With the recent rash of bombings in my neighborhood, (yes! Bombings!) and Hallowe'en's rapid approach, I am reminded of the year that I decided to dress up as the Unabomber.

No! Not Ted Kaczynski's UnaBomber mugshot, the police sketch artist's version.

The two are so different that it got me thinking, ANYONE could have been that guy!

"All Points Bulletin: Be on the lookout for Magnum P.I.!"

And being frequently bored with the stuff I am supposed to be doing, (A.K.A., life,) I chose to fire up the photoshop and test my theory.

Since anyone with a hood, mustache and sunglasses could fit the description of this "artist," (I don't think the guy could draw hair or eyes,) I compiled an ALTERNATIVE list of suspects.

And I'm keeping my eyes on these ones...

Sixties rock singer and former political figure, Sonny Bono:

Actually, he's pretty much in the clear.

Anchorman, Ron Burgundy:

Adult film star, Ron Jeremy:

Coffee Baron Juan Valdez:

Seventies sitcom star, Mr. Kotter:

"Welcome back!"

Simpsons neighbor Ned "Diddly" Flanders:

Or even,

Muppet & boomerang-fish master Lew Zealand!

Lastly, from that Hallowe'en of years past, here is me in that costume, (and that's the missus dressed up as a "Mobile-Home-coming Queen.")

Happy Hallowe'en.

Decisions, Decisions...

Hmmm... Really not all that hungry anymore...

Technophobe's Illustrated #20

Christopher Toler, 10/17/10

EMOTICONS!

Happy Emoting!

Chris